breaking stigma.
Several months ago, someone approached my husband and asked: “You’re not embarrassed that your wife goes around talking about her mental health issues… in public?”. My response to that could’ve been lashed out in anger, but instead, it made me think… “maybe people really don’t understand how or why I choose to talk about it.”…
my daily mission.
Y’all, I’ve been depressed for over a week now. You wouldn’t know it because I’ve been fighting it. What brought it on- I have no idea. Over the last several weeks, I had been crafting, decorating, shopping, and spending time with all the people I love. I was so happy! In fact, last Monday, in…
missing joy.
When I was growing up, we were taught to work for everything we wanted. My parents provided us with more than we needed, but most of our wants, we had to work for and purchase for ourselves. I started babysitting and making my own money when I was about 11 years old. As I aged,…
who am I?
The dictionary explains that the difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II is the severity of the manic or depressive episodes for a person. Living with Bipolar I is so damn aggravating- living with any form of mental illness is aggravating, but Bipolar disorder, for me, is very aggravating. I am preparing for my appointment…
moments of grief.
I don’t have days of daylong grieving, anymore. What I have is what I’d like to describe more as moments of grief. I’ve been asked by several therapists if I suffer with seasonal grief or depression. I’d like to say “no” to that, simply because I don’t dread the seasons changing, or the seasons coming.…
your circle.
So many people have asked me how I get through my depression and mental illness. Do you have a circle? I’m talking about a circle of good people around you to help you overcome the obstacles that you face when dealing with mental illness. I have a circle. There are many people in my circle,…
blessings.
What are you thankful for today? It used to be a tradition in my family to go around the Thanksgiving table and list one thing that we were thankful for. I always have been the boring one that would say “my kids”, “my husband”, “my health”, etc. I never really elaborated on what I was…
the widowed woman.
How many 31 year old widows do you know? The internet says that “the average age of a widow is 59+”. I became a widow at 31. My late husband died of cancer four years ago, leaving me a widowed mother of two young children. Young widowhood is hard. My late husband and I were…
life and loss.
Let’s get the white elephant out. On top of suffering with mental illness, I lost my husband right before I turned 32. Diagnosed at age 26, he died when he was 31. Kyle and I were married at the age of 25, and I had our first and only child together when I was 27.…
the secret addict.
Whether it’s drugs, alcohol, sex, etc., what’s your definition of an addict? The dictionary says that an addict is “someone who is addicted to a particular substance.” or “the state of being compulsively committed to a habit or practice.”. What makes a person an addict? In my personal opinion, an “addict” is a person who…
Brain vs. Body
What are my mental health issues stemming from? Is it totally the genetic make up of the chemicals in my brain, or is there a malfunction in one of my organs somewhere in my body that I have yet to find out? Whether it be the estrogen and progesterone my body produces, my thyroid, or…
Fight or Flight.
A part of my mental health issues landed me with the diagnosis of PTSD. I used to think that only soldiers came home from war, suffering with PTSD- post traumatic stress disorder. I recently found a psychiatrist that only treats females and ties together your biology- genetics, hormones, etc.- along with past seasons, or circumstances…
No is NO.
Alright, it’s calmed down in my house for the moment, so I have some more thoughts that I want to share. I’m still in my pajamas from last night, by the way. Don’t worry! I brushed my teeth. 🙂 I’ll shower and change later! My entries aren’t always going to be about rainbows and butterflies-…
pajamas and cigarettes.
For a person that suffers with depression that is usually a “go-getter”, boredom is very hard. You’d find it odd to think that during my late husband’s illness, I was on no antidepressant. I had something to constantly do, and that was taking care of and advocating for him daily. That was continually scheduled trips…
Depression.
The hardest thing to explain to someone is depression. If you’ve never suffered with depression, consider yourself lucky. Imagine the worst you’ve ever felt in your life, and the anxiety that came along with it. I hope, that if you don’t suffer with depression, you’ve only felt like that a handful of times. Depression is…
So, here I am.
So, you’ve landed yourself on my page. I’m so glad. I’m not a professional, but I speak from my experiences. I like to call my experiences seasons. I’ve been through a lot. Maybe you’ve followed my journey all along, or maybe you’re just finding me. Writing is something I thoroughly enjoy. I LOVE to talk…
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Breaking The Cycle 