blessings.

What are you thankful for today? It used to be a tradition in my family to go around the Thanksgiving table and list one thing that we were thankful for. I always have been the boring one that would say “my kids”, “my husband”, “my health”, etc. I never really elaborated on what I was “thankful” for. This year is different.

I’ve always been thankful to God for giving me the breath of life, but I was never satisfied with myself. Besides being alive, I wasn’t thankful for who I was. It’s crazy to think back on circumstances or seasons that I’ve endured, not realizing then, that there was so much more to my life than what I saw. Until I realized each lesson that I was being shown through every season, I couldn’t accept my seasons as blessings instead of misery. I was a broken soul. My mental health was killing me. I allowed Satan to consume my brain with thoughts of unworthiness, failure, and loss. Instead of reaching out to God, I was reaching for alcohol and prescription drugs. I was becoming lifeless- I wasn’t myself. It’s funny because this year has been one of my hardest years, mentally. It’s been a year of changes, a new marriage, and blending families. It’s been a year of career attempts for me that have been unsuccessful because I didn’t know at the time, but I was really sick. The seasons that I’ve walked through have been extremely hard. How I’ve gotten through them is solely by God’s grace.

Going through each season, I often expressed that age 35 was going to be my best year. Until last month, I was a 35 year old through this rough year. However, I married my best friend this year, and little did I know, God placed him in my life to not only be my husband, but to walk alongside me through more seasons- including a season to get me well with unconditional love. We have the typical seasons ahead of us to walk through, raising kids, but I also expect my God to walk us through many seasons of blessings as we journey through this next year.

I’ve had a revelation. My mental illness was turning me into a person that I was not. This year, I’m not only “thankful” for the typical things you’d expect anyone to be thankful for. This year, I’m thankful for my kids, husband, family, and friends, but I am truly thankful for my health. I’m so thankful to God for placing the psychiatrist in my life that he did. I’m thankful that God has revealed my purpose to me, and that I am worthy. God has a plan for every one of us on this Earth, but are we opening our eyes to see it? Are we willing to take that leap of faith to conquer it? You see, God’s will for your life is within reach, you just have to be faithful enough to Him and trust the process. Many people I know suffer with discontentment. You will never be content and experience true happiness until you are willing to accept God’s will. Don’t dwell on the unhappiness and the “well, this happened to me” or “I could never do that because…….”. Don’t do it. Reach for God. Be happy. Be content in His plan. If you’re going through something hard, ignore Satan. Rise above it and take that hard time as a lesson and get through that season.

I’m thankful for happiness. I’m thankful for a clear head and opened eyes. I’m thankful for living and still being here today to share my story. I’m thankful for the gift of writing and speaking, and the possibility of making that my career. Life is hard, but it doesn’t have to define you. I’m content now. I’m allowing God’s will to be done. Happy Thanksgiving! So much love to you all!

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